Come and join me, or not, its really up to you (open)

[Deleted]

The bar he was in was barely above the hole in the wall type. In fact, Jason thought that the owners purposefully made it look worse that it really was...a kind of hipster look. If so, Jason thought that the idea was a bit misguided at best.  Still, it was out of the way enough that he was not bothered too much by fans or other admirers. Not that he had many of either these days, but even that was looking up. "People Matter" was starting to really take off, and he was certain that if things kept going as they were, he would have another hit on his hands, this one of his own making. If he was honest with himself, he missed the attention that came with being popular. He had not originally wanted to do do a drama, but he had compromised by doing a "dramady" and so far, it was working. 

So here he sat, alone at the mostly deserted bar at 1100 on a Saturday night nursing a whiskey on the rocks. He was already leaving sobriety on the drunk train, something that was happening more and more these days, despite his best efforts to leave the bottle behind. He had been fighting that battle for over a decade, and despite his best efforts, he did not see himself winning that war anytime soon.

Still, there was a lot to be said for the drink. At least it did not leave him behind like his bitch of an ex wife, or like those "friends" did when he suddenly found himself out of work after that sitcom ended. Being alone was something he was used to.

He just wished he wasn't so used to it.

[Deleted]

It had not been a great week. Jyothi had turned herself inside-out to hunt down some choice auditions, and been so confident she had surprised even herself and, she felt, had exceeded a few of her prior bests in her performances and how she'd prepared. She had been so sure she would at least get some positive feedback, maybe a note or two, maybe they'd keep her name on file, maybe even they'd call her back to read again...and nothing. Not a blip. Not even a mass-text to say Thanks to All Who Participated. If that was even a thing.

She'd sulked pretty bad for most of Friday at work, watching everyone whose lives were better than hers as they left for weekends full of glittering press parties or night shoots. Even Kiki's mammogram appointment (which she'd bellowed about over her cell phone for the whole lobby to hear, whether they wanted the mental image or not,) was probably going to be a more glamorous experience than anything that lay in store for Jyothi.

Once her sulking ended, however, her brain was already busily concocting her next plan. Like most of her plans, it grew out of an impulsive thought which popped into her head when she saw Jason Andrews leaving the building. He was one of the more recognizable faces, even among a hoard of younger actors in the hit shows. He'd been appearing on TV screens in some form or another for decades, now...and to Jyothi he suddenly seemed almost approachable, compared to the slick, buttoned-up types who comprised the better part of the upper executive team at USBC. He wore jeans and t-shirts. He was practically the boy next door. Maybe, if she could just talk to him...

Yeah, go running out in an apron which still bore the results of running interference with a toddler who had devastatingly accurate aim and no appreciation for the gooey slab of chocolate cake his father had decided to use in place of actual parenting skill. With a frumpy ponytail and a zit lurking around her hairline and garlic breath after lunch. Nah.

Instead, Jyothi managed to pry some dirt out of her senior colleagues, and by the time they closed up the cafe late on Friday night, she had the address of a bar Jason Andrews frequented--and often.

Saturday was spent exfoliating, waxing, plucking, buffing, moisturizing, and styling until Jyothi was satisfied that she no longer looked entirely like anyone's twelve year old sister. Her dark red lipstick popped alongside dramatically dark mascara, liner, and purple-and-gold two-toned eyeshadow to give her big brown eyes equal accents of light and shadow. She carefully completed the look with a favourite pair of elegant little black ankle-boots and a new burgundy dress of some softly clinging material she'd blown most of her savings on the month before. Her little black leather bolero jacket was older--one of the first things she'd bought in New York--but leather was classic, wasn't it? And Jason Andrews seemed to like to wear it, himself.

Taking a deep breath as she approached the bar, she held it for ten seconds as she spotted him through the front window, sitting alone at the bar. Releasing the breath slowly as she tugged open the door and went inside, she forced herself to take measured steps and seated herself on the stool two places down from him, smiling at the bartender, first.

No point in looking too desperate.

"A double Disaronno on ice, please."

[Deleted]

@jyothi

Even though the bar was mostly deserted, and he was not nearly as drunk as he wanted to be, it still came as some surprise when someone came right up next to him and ordered a drink. It was so damn quite in the bar, he should have noticed any intrusion on what he considered his personal space, but this time, he had been caught off guard, and he was more than a little pissed off about it. One of the reasons he came here so often was the fact that it was rarely busy and he could almost count on being left the hell alone, but not tonight apparently. Against his better judgement, he chanced a glance at the person who had interrupted his solitude and immediately a battle between his desire to be alone and the desire to talk to this woman started brewing in his head. 

She was beautiful, there was no denying that, and he had seen his fair share of beautiful women during his career. But he had the feeling that she was different. The first impression that he got was that this woman carried her beauty in a less obvious way. She did not seem starstruck or snobby, though he supposed he could be wrong on both accounts. However, she did look, and sound a bit nervous as she ordered her drink...a double Disaronno, a drink he had never heard of...he was even more intrigued. 

Sighing, he resigned himself to a night spent not alone for once, giving up the short battle he had been having in his head. If nothing else, she may divert him from his lonely existence at least for one night. He stayed in his seat, only turning his head to look at her. "Never heard of that drink. Something you made up on your own?" 

He knew that it was stupid, and that he probably sounded ignorant, but at this point he really did not care.

[Deleted]

@jason

Jyothi had pulled two crumpled bills--the last of her carefully-counted grocery money for the week (thank God for free food at work)--from the pocket of her jacket and slid them across the bar to pay for her drink, as the barman put down the tumbler in front of her, ice cubes clinking in the amber liqueur.

She glanced down at Andrews, smiling a little. Perfect. She hadn't even had to say anything herself to break the ice. He'd already been drinking himself, and he was evidently in a mood to talk to strangers. Whether it was because she was a cute girl on her own or not, Jyothi hardly knew, or cared. Good looks were a weapon in an arsenal--or, to but it more kindly, a tool in a tool-kit. She wasn't ready to just accept anything, resigning herself to a life of low-level commercials or even character-acting. (Though if she were more honest with herself she hadn't even been offered those parts, lately.) She wanted more. She wanted the fame, the applause, the validation. Maybe not a leading role right away, but something that would make her a newcomer people would talk about. Jason Andrews had a new show he was working on, apparently...and Jyothi couldn't help but hope that casting wasn't finished, or entirely set in stone...

"It's Italian, I think," she said lightly. "Tastes a bit like...hm...something sweet." She shrugged and took a sip before squinting at the glass. "Almonds...or cherries, maybe. I can never quite tell."

She leaned over the gap of stools that stood between them, sliding her glass down the bar towards him, her smile taking on just a hint of challenge. She could play the bold flirt, tonight, if she had to.

"What do you think?"

[Deleted]

Judging from the smell of the drink, Jason did NOT want to taste it, but it would be impolite to decline. Plus there was something about this girl that made it hard to say no to her. He would have to be on guard for that. He did not letting many people inside his inner circle too much, and he certainly did not like being taken advantage of. Yes, he would have to be careful. Still maintaining eye contact, he took the offered glass and took a small sip. To be honest, it was not as bad as he had thought it would be, but still...it wasn't his thing at all. He gave her a smile and pushed the drink back to her.

"Thanks. Not bad, but I think I will stick to the hard stuff", he said, pointing to his whisky He paused, taking a moment to size her up a bit more. There was something....familiar about her, but what it was exactly he did not know. She did LOOK familiar, but her mannerisms, what little he had saw so far, were also familiar. He had seen her somewhere, but did not know exactly where.

He was certain now that she was not some fan looking to take advantage of him for her own bragging rights. He had fallen for that way too many times in the past and now by his estimation there were at least a couple hundred woman out there who could legitimately claim they had slept with him, and he cringed at the thought of how many possible kids he had fathered.  No, she seemed different. Still he wanted to proceed with caution, even though he had to admit to himself that he was attracted to her, at least initially. 

Putting on his best smile, he looked her right in the eye and gave a wink. "So, are you going to tell me who you are and what your deal is, or do I have to sit here patiently and wait?" It was a bit blunt, but he did not have any time to sit around and play games.

[Deleted]

She could protest that she didn't have an angle, but...she did. And, somehow, he knew that. Jason Andrews wasn't a fool, apparently, and Jyothi could respect that. Maybe he'd somehow recognized her from the cafe. She didn't think many people bothered to actively remember her, but when someone is a part of the backdrop of daily life, maybe their face makes an impression, intentionally or not.

Jyothi took back her glass with a knowing twist to her smile, and she rolled her eyes a little at being caught out by his question. He seemed to be in a good mood, and she hoped that telling the truth wouldn't put him off or make him close up, again. Some people felt threatened if you approached them and asked for any kind of favour. It wasn't as if she needed them to donate a kidney, honestly. She just wanted people with power to maybe use that power even a little bit for her benefit. Jyothi didn't expect a first-class ticket straight to stardom, but all she wanted was a real chance to prove herself. To be who she knew she could be.

Feeling her cheeks flush a little with awareness that her next words could make or ruin this opportunity she'd scraped together, Jyothi bit her lip for a moment before she took the plunge.

"Jyothi Mehta," she introduced herself. "I...I'm an actor," she went on, only half-hesitating before making her statement with some conviction. She was, after all. Just unappreciated, unpaid, and unknown. "I work in the cafe at USBC."

She cleared her throat after having said her piece, and quickly looked back to her glass, taking a swift swig of the liqueur, letting it burn on its way down.

[Deleted]

So she was an actor, suddenly it all made sense. Jason suddenly came to the realization that this woman...Jyothi, was seeking to use him. From the looks of her and from the impression he got from their brief meeting,  she was not getting much work. And if she had been, Jason would have known it since he was considerably well in touch with what was going on in the entertainment business, and he did not recognize her at all. Wait, yes he did and he almost laughed out loud. She served him coffee on an almost daily basis. The cliche was almost painfully obvious. 

Still, he liked her. He had no reason to know exactly why, but he did. She was confident, seemed smart, and hell, she was sexy. Still, he could not hire her just for looking good, he had to make sure she could actually act. Suddenly, he had an idea. He was going to make her sweat a bit. He was going to come off as an asshole, but it would not be the first...or last time that would be the case. Smiling, he turned to face her, looking her right in the eye. 

"Let's cut the shit shall we? You know who I am and I know what you want and why you are interested. Though I am kinda surprised that you are not here just for my charming good looks. You want a job, and think you can act, and you want a spot on my show." He stopped to pause, lifting up his hand to stall any potential protest from her. "No need to thank me, I am happy to do it, but I do ask one thing of you."

He paused and smiled right at her. "You want a job acting? Then act. Right here, right now. You give me a good monologue, you have a job. Now go."

[Deleted]

Sh*t.

Well, what had she expected--an invitation to lunch with the casting director? A chance to prepare? Hadn't she spent the last three years in this goddamn city preparing?

She knew monologues. She had at least half a dozen she knew off by heart. She'd trotted them out at auditions up and down the city...but never in a bar. It was just too bad none of them were springing to mind, right now.

Jyothi dropped her eyes back to the glass sitting on the scarred wood of the bar in front of her, picking it up and tilting it so the ice cubes chimed lightly against the sides of the glass. She realized she'd been holding her breath, and she let it out, slowly, before she drained the whole of her double and set the empty tumbler back, swallowing hard and thinking fast.

She'd been ready to prove who she was--now she had to prove she could be somebody she wasn't. Who was that?

One hand rose to her head, her fingers clawing at the roots of her hair to drag it out of place, re-arranging it into a messy curtain of unkempt strands, half of them dangling across her face as she slumped forward into terrible posture, resting both elbows on the bar and hunching her shoulders almost up to her ears, half-clinging to the edge of the bar as if it were a security blanket...or a life-raft, and she didn't dare to let go.

"...I know what they think of me..." she muttered, not looking up, her voice lower, quieter, and rougher than it had been before--half-pauses creeping in between her words and the words themselves falling slower and slower, like curls of dark, wild honey dripping from a spoon. "Some dumb kid, made bad choices, got herself into trouble. Herself. Like it was all me and only me."

Her head came up a little, and she cast a sidelong look at Jason, no longer sizing him up, or even trying to figure out what he made of her, whether he liked or even understood what she was doing. It wasn't Jyothi sitting at the bar, anymore. She wasn't even sure what her name was--there hadn't been time to think of that, yet--but she was somebody else.

"They don't know everybody. They can't know--not my parents, not my teachers, not my friends...enemies...my godd*mn pet goldfish. That I listened to them--and I watched...and that was how I learned. You can't just be you unless you live under a rock and never feel anything." She shrugged, looking back to the bar and starting to idly scratch at it with the tips of her fingernails, picking at it as if she'd like to pick at her own skin, instead. "So you just become part of it all, and it becomes a part of you, and you can't pull free, because that's you and them and it'll all just bleed and maybe kill everything, so you hold still, and it only gets worse, until you can barely move. And then you're old enough to start making your bad choices, and get yourself into trouble...but these weren't my choices, and this isn't my trouble."

Her eyes snapped back up to meet his, and locked him with a gaze of equal parts burgeoning defiance and impotent rage, where her only certainty was whatever tiny portion of herself, deep inside, remained untouched by the poisonous vines that coiled around her.

"But I'm d*mn well gonna have to get myself out of it, aren't I?"

She let the silence hang for a long moment before she slowly sat back upright, brushed her hair back behind one ear and made herself look at the barman, nudging her glass towards him.

"Another of the same, please," she said, her voice her own again. Her heart was beating in her throat now, and the hairs on her back of her neck stood on end. What the h*ll kind of improvisational maudlin bullsh*t had she just spat? Already she was picking a dozen different holes in her so-called performance. Trite, overwrought--what was that character even supposed to be? F*ck if she knew.

Oh well. Nothing to do now but hope the booze would take the edge off the laughing rejection that lay in store.

[Deleted]

Jason just sat in stunned silence after her (likely) improvised monologue. He had not expected this. There was...power, there was feeling, and there was passion in that speech. If this is what she could do with an improvised script, what the heck could she do with something that was scripted? He had had a part in mind for the show recently, but never thought he could find someone to fill it, now he knew that he had his woman. He would offer her the part and he wouldn't even make her sleep with him to get it, which was new for him. Still, he wanted to keep her any way he could. He was attracted to her, and not just because she was a hell of an actor. 

Still not speaking, he turned to refresh his drink, thinking about his next move. She would have to meet with the casting director, but that was a mere formality. It was his show, and he had the final say in casting. He was about to make her a star. He turned back to her, and took a sip of his new drink.

Looking at her over the rim of his glass, he simply said, "Welcome to Child Welfare Services Lauren Pettegrew."

[Deleted]

Jyothi had to wonder if the silence was better or worse than an immediate launch into criticism or outright dismissal. She squirmed inwardly as the seconds slid by, and still, he'd said nothing. Maybe he was just ignoring the shambling wreck of improvised crap that had just taken place. That would be the kindest thing to do, really. Jyothi almost wanted to say a quiet "thank you" and leave, heading home where she could tend to her wounded pride with a bottle of the cheapest liquor she could find at the bodega below her apartment.

And then...he gave her a job. A name. A person. Not an extra, not a one-off ditz named Candy or Cherry or Cookie or some other kind of food-based first-name-only.

Jyothi felt for a second as if she might never be able to pull another breath into her lungs, and only clapped both hands over her mouth as it fell open.

"...no!" she hissed between her fingers. "No way! Are you serious?"

Could it just happen like that--like this? Three years of hell and hoping and the soul-shrinking lies she'd told her parents and--oh, everybody. But the ones she'd told to her parents bothered her most. The other people she'd lied to, ("Oh, yeah, I've ridden horses before...of course I know how to play the cello...holding my breath underwater for five full minutes? No problem!") she'd never had to see again. They'd never called her back for those jobs, so those lies had hardly mattered...even if they'd felt like tiny, stinging humiliations as she had to privately acknowledge her own inadequacy every time she tried to deny it.